Allah commands: live with them in kindness (4:19), and says that women have rights similar to those against them in what is right (2:228). The Prophet ﷺ said: the best of you is the best to his wives, and I am the best of you to my wives. He also advised to treat women well.
1The husband's duties
Spending on his wife and family according to his means (food, clothing, housing).
Kind and fair treatment, and equal treatment between wives if there is more than one.
Not harming her, and not humiliating or striking her in any way that harms.
Protecting her honour and teaching her what she needs from religion.
2The wife's duties
Fulfilling the husband's rights in marriage, in what is right.
Safeguarding his home, his wealth and her own honour.
Cooperating on the household and raising the children, according to the custom the two agree on.
3Leadership and consultation
Allah says that men are the protectors and maintainers of women because of what they spend (4:34). This leadership is a responsibility, not an excuse for harshness.
The Prophet ﷺ advised to take care of women, saying that they were created from a rib. This meant to be gentle and patient with them.
Where the schools differ
The four Sunni schools agree on the main ruling above and differ in these points. No school is preferred here.
Housework. the schools differ about whether it is an obligation on the wife or a matter of custom and kindness. Both are encouraged to help each other, as the Prophet ﷺ did in his home.
اى كسانى كه ايمان آوردهايد، شما را حلال نيست كه زنان را بر خلاف ميلشان به ارث ببريد. و تا قسمتى از آنچه را كه به آنها دادهايد بازپس ستانيد بر آنها سخت مگيريد، مگر آنكه مرتكب فحشايى به ثبوت رسيده شده باشند. و با آنان به نيكويى رفتار كنيد. و اگر شما را از زنان خوش نيامد، چه بسا چيزها كه شما را از آن خوش نمىآيد در حالى كه خدا خير كثيرى در آن نهاده باشد.
بايد كه زنان مطلقه تا سه بار پاك شدن از شوهر كردن بازايستند. و اگر به خدا و روز قيامت ايمان دارند، روا نيست كه آنچه را كه خدا در رحم آنان آفريده است پنهان دارند. و در آن ايام اگر شوهرانشان قصد اصلاح داشته باشند به باز گرداندنشان سزاوارترند. و براى آنان حقوقى شايسته است همانند وظيفهاى كه بر عهده آنهاست ولى مردان را بر زنان مرتبتى است. و خدا پيروزمند و حكيم است.
مردان، از آن جهت كه خدا بعضى را بر بعضى برترى داده است، و از آن جهت كه از مال خود نفقه مىدهند، بر زنان تسلط دارند. پس زنان شايسته، فرمانبردارند و در غيبت شوى عفيفند و فرمان خداى را نگاه مىدارند. و آن زنان را كه از نافرمانيشان بيم داريد، اندرز دهيد و از خوابگاهشان دورى كنيد و بزنيدشان. اگر فرمانبردارى كردند، از آن پس ديگر راه بيداد پيش مگيريد. و خدا بلندپايه و بزرگ است.
From the Sunnah
Jami' at-Tirmidhi 3895
The point of the hadith: The best of you is the best to his wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.
Graded by
Ahmad Muhammad Shakir: Sahih
Al-Albani: Sahih
Bashar Awad Maarouf: Hasan Sahih
Zubair Ali Zai: Hasan
Read the Arabic text
حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ يَحْيَى، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ يُوسُفَ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ، عَنْ هِشَامِ بْنِ عُرْوَةَ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، قَالَتْ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم " خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لأَهْلِهِ وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لأَهْلِي وَإِذَا مَاتَ صَاحِبُكُمْ فَدَعُوهُ " . قَالَ أَبُو عِيسَى هَذَا حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ غَرِيبٌ صَحِيحٌ مِنْ حَدِيثِ الثَّوْرِيِّ مَا أَقَلَّ مَنْ رَوَاهُ عَنِ الثَّوْرِيِّ . وَرُوِيَ هَذَا عَنْ هِشَامِ بْنِ عُرْوَةَ عَنْ أَبِيهِ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم مُرْسَلٌ .
This is general information, not a fatwa. For your own situation, ask a qualified scholar.
Fiqh questions
The rights of husband and wife
Allah commands: live with them in kindness (4:19), and says that women have rights similar to those against them in what is right (2:228). The Prophet ﷺ said: the best of you is the best to his wives, and I am the best of you to my wives. He also advised to treat women well.
Is this a fatwa?
No. It is a summary of well-known rulings with their evidence. For your own case, ask a qualified scholar.
What if my school differs from this answer?
Follow the view of the school you follow and the scholar who teaches you. The page lists the differences of the four schools.