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Marriage and family

The rights of husband and wife

The ruling in short

Allah commands: live with them in kindness (4:19), and says that women have rights similar to those against them in what is right (2:228). The Prophet ﷺ said: the best of you is the best to his wives, and I am the best of you to my wives. He also advised to treat women well.

1The husband's duties

  • Spending on his wife and family according to his means (food, clothing, housing).
  • Kind and fair treatment, and equal treatment between wives if there is more than one.
  • Not harming her, and not humiliating or striking her in any way that harms.
  • Protecting her honour and teaching her what she needs from religion.

2The wife's duties

  • Fulfilling the husband's rights in marriage, in what is right.
  • Safeguarding his home, his wealth and her own honour.
  • Cooperating on the household and raising the children, according to the custom the two agree on.

3Leadership and consultation

  • Allah says that men are the protectors and maintainers of women because of what they spend (4:34). This leadership is a responsibility, not an excuse for harshness.
  • The Prophet ﷺ advised to take care of women, saying that they were created from a rib. This meant to be gentle and patient with them.

Where the schools differ

The four Sunni schools agree on the main ruling above and differ in these points. No school is preferred here.

  • Housework. the schools differ about whether it is an obligation on the wife or a matter of custom and kindness. Both are encouraged to help each other, as the Prophet ﷺ did in his home.

The evidence

From the Quran

يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ لَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَرِثُوا۟ ٱلنِّسَآءَ كَرْهًۭا ۖ وَلَا تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ لِتَذْهَبُوا۟ بِبَعْضِ مَآ ءَاتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ إِلَّآ أَن يَأْتِينَ بِفَٰحِشَةٍۢ مُّبَيِّنَةٍۢ ۚ وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكْرَهُوا۟ شَيْـًۭٔا وَيَجْعَلَ ٱللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًۭا كَثِيرًۭا ﴿١٩﴾

信道的人们啊!你们不得强占妇女,当作遗产,也不得压迫她们,以便你们收回你们所给她们的一部分聘仪,除非她们作了明显的丑事。你们当善待她们。如果你们厌恶她们,(那末,你们应当忍受她们),因为,或许你们厌恶一件事,而真主在那件事中安置下许多福利。

وَٱلْمُطَلَّقَٰتُ يَتَرَبَّصْنَ بِأَنفُسِهِنَّ ثَلَٰثَةَ قُرُوٓءٍۢ ۚ وَلَا يَحِلُّ لَهُنَّ أَن يَكْتُمْنَ مَا خَلَقَ ٱللَّهُ فِىٓ أَرْحَامِهِنَّ إِن كُنَّ يُؤْمِنَّ بِٱللَّهِ وَٱلْيَوْمِ ٱلْءَاخِرِ ۚ وَبُعُولَتُهُنَّ أَحَقُّ بِرَدِّهِنَّ فِى ذَٰلِكَ إِنْ أَرَادُوٓا۟ إِصْلَٰحًۭا ۚ وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ ٱلَّذِى عَلَيْهِنَّ بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌۭ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ عَزِيزٌ حَكِيمٌ ﴿٢٢٨﴾

被休的妇人,当期待三次月经;她们不得隐讳真主造化在她们的子宫里的东西,如果她们确信真主和末日。在等待的期间,她们的丈夫是宜当挽留她们的,如果他们愿意重修旧好。她们应享合理的权利,也应尽合理的义务;男人的权利,比她们高一级。真主是万能的,是至睿的。

ٱلرِّجَالُ قَوَّٰمُونَ عَلَى ٱلنِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍۢ وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُوا۟ مِنْ أَمْوَٰلِهِمْ ۚ فَٱلصَّٰلِحَٰتُ قَٰنِتَٰتٌ حَٰفِظَٰتٌۭ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ ٱللَّهُ ۚ وَٱلَّٰتِى تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِى ٱلْمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضْرِبُوهُنَّ ۖ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوا۟ عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّۭا كَبِيرًۭا ﴿٣٤﴾

男人是维护妇女的,因为真主使他们比她们更优越,又因为他们所费的财产。贤淑的女子是服从的,是借真主的保佑而保守隐微的。你们怕她们执拗的妇女,你们可以劝戒她们,可以和她们同床异被,可以打她们。如果她们服从你们,那末,你们不要再想法欺负她们。真主确是至尊的,确是至大的。

From the Sunnah

Jami' at-Tirmidhi 3895

The point of the hadith: The best of you is the best to his wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.

Graded by

  • Ahmad Muhammad Shakir: Sahih
  • Al-Albani: Sahih
  • Bashar Awad Maarouf: Hasan Sahih
  • Zubair Ali Zai: Hasan
Read the Arabic text

حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ يَحْيَى، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ يُوسُفَ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ، عَنْ هِشَامِ بْنِ عُرْوَةَ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، قَالَتْ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ "‏ خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لأَهْلِهِ وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لأَهْلِي وَإِذَا مَاتَ صَاحِبُكُمْ فَدَعُوهُ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ أَبُو عِيسَى هَذَا حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ غَرِيبٌ صَحِيحٌ مِنْ حَدِيثِ الثَّوْرِيِّ مَا أَقَلَّ مَنْ رَوَاهُ عَنِ الثَّوْرِيِّ ‏.‏ وَرُوِيَ هَذَا عَنْ هِشَامِ بْنِ عُرْوَةَ عَنْ أَبِيهِ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم مُرْسَلٌ ‏.‏

Read it on sunnah.com

Sahih al-Bukhari 3331 Authentic collection

The point of the hadith: The Prophet ﷺ told us to treat women well, because a woman is created from a rib.

Read the Arabic text

حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو كُرَيْبٍ، وَمُوسَى بْنُ حِزَامٍ، قَالاَ حَدَّثَنَا حُسَيْنُ بْنُ عَلِيٍّ، عَنْ زَائِدَةَ، عَنْ مَيْسَرَةَ الأَشْجَعِيِّ، عَنْ أَبِي حَازِمٍ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ "‏ اسْتَوْصُوا بِالنِّسَاءِ، فَإِنَّ الْمَرْأَةَ خُلِقَتْ مِنْ ضِلَعٍ، وَإِنَّ أَعْوَجَ شَىْءٍ فِي الضِّلَعِ أَعْلاَهُ، فَإِنْ ذَهَبْتَ تُقِيمُهُ كَسَرْتَهُ، وَإِنْ تَرَكْتَهُ لَمْ يَزَلْ أَعْوَجَ، فَاسْتَوْصُوا بِالنِّسَاءِ ‏"‏‏.‏

Read it on sunnah.com

This is general information, not a fatwa. For your own situation, ask a qualified scholar.

Fiqh questions

The rights of husband and wife

Allah commands: live with them in kindness (4:19), and says that women have rights similar to those against them in what is right (2:228). The Prophet ﷺ said: the best of you is the best to his wives, and I am the best of you to my wives. He also advised to treat women well.

Is this a fatwa?

No. It is a summary of well-known rulings with their evidence. For your own case, ask a qualified scholar.

What if my school differs from this answer?

Follow the view of the school you follow and the scholar who teaches you. The page lists the differences of the four schools.

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